Paul Weyrich Meets His Maker, Finds Heaven Warmer Than Expected
It looks like Christmas came early this year for those of us that truly appreciate intellectual freedom…Paul Weyrich died at the age of 66 on Thursday. The media, along with most of the political blogging community, seem to have this thing where they can’t make fun of someone’s death or express any sort of relief when somebody like Weyrich bites the big one (except maybe the Daily Kos, and kudos to them for that). You can wish terrible things on that person all through their life, spitting the most venomous vitriol you can muster in columns and newscasts, but when they finally drop dead, you have to say shit like, “Rest in peace,” and “Although we disagreed with him, he was a great man and a strong leader.” We here at Muckmakers, however, call a spade a spade, and whenever a piece of shit like Weyrich becomes worm food, we don’t write tributes or eulogies…we crack open a few beers (not Coors, of course) and make jokes at his expense. You think this guy deserves anyone’s respect? Let’s take a quick look back on the life of a true muckmaker…
In 1973, Paul Weyrich, Joseph Coors, and Ed Feulner founded the Heritage Foundation, a conservative “think tank” that played a key role in the Cold War and the Regan administration. While gaining most of its fame during this time for its support of anti-communist movements, “Star Wars,” and the Reagan doctrine, possibly the most important thing they accomplished was the subtle, but persistent forcing of Christian ideology into modern American politics, particularly the Republican party. Regan’s controversial labeling of the Soviet Union as an “evil empire” was just a precursor to Dubya’s “Axis of Evil” and all of the misinformation that would come with it. In 1974, Weyrich founded the Committee for the Survival of a Free Congress, a grassroots effort that organized conservative activists and raised funds for conservative causes, an organization that proved particularly fruitful in the churches of evangelical Christians. Weyrich knew he had found his niche and started Christian Voice with Robert Grant three years later and Moral Majority with Jerry Falwell two years after that. He would go on to found the American Legislative Exchange Council, the Council for National Policy, co-publish Conservative Digest, and become the national chairman of Coalitions for America. Weyrich didn’t just coin the term “moral majority” – he was out to make it an absolute truth.
Through intimidation, propaganda, fear-mongering, lobbying, and a whole shitload of money, these organizations would show right-wing politicians how to use Christianity to their advantage and employ religion in not only dictating public policy, but receiving public praise for doing so. George W. Bush’s rise to power was no fluke, but a carefully-orchestrated scheme arranged by self-righteous bastards like Weyrich to make their beliefs unquestioned law. You think the right gives a damn about individual freedoms or Constitutional rights? Just hear it from the man himself…
Of course he doesn’t want you to vote…that’d prove that there isn’t a “moral majority,” but instead a sad, shrinking minority of close-minded Bible beaters trying to send this country back to the Dark Ages. It would prove that the will of a truly free nation isn’t the whim of rich, white businessmen whose only use for the red, white, and blue is to generate green. Paul Weyrich was full of all kinds of hate for gays, Jews, Muslims, pagans, liberals, secular humanists, atheists, women, etc. The ultimate goals of many of his organizations included making abortion illegal, banning homosexual acts (not just marriage, but the whole damn thing), enforcement of “traditional” family values, prayer in all schools, and censorship of any media that promotes an “anti-family” agenda. While this country guaranteed his right to spew whatever hatred his black heart could muster, there’s nothing that should have guaranteed his right to legislate it. But it seems that he ended up getting his just desserts after all, and I don’t just mean during this year’s election.
For a man who believed so hard that he was doing the will of god, it turns out that his god wasn’t so grateful for all his hard work. In 1996, Weyrich suffered from a major spinal injury from which he never recovered. From 2001 on, he was bound to a wheelchair. Complications from a fall led to the amputation of his legs in 2005, and he was in constant pain from his spine up until his death. With that in mind, I kind of wish he was still alive just so he could have suffered for just a little bit longer. His selfish actions have led to the continuing hate and discrimination that has divided this country and dominated our broken political system since the Regan administration, and as men like Falwell and Weyrich start dying off, we can begin to assess the damage done by the conservative Christian movement and learn from our mistakes as a nation. Good bye, Paul, and good riddance. I hope the afterlife is nothing like you expected it to be, and I hope your “soul” remains as restless as the citizens of this nation have been ever since your malevolent ideology hijacked our government and way of life.
And for those who thought that was all a bit too harsh, I guess I shouldn’t mention that I wouldn’t mind dancing on his grave… I have the legs to do so, after all. Jesus must love me more.
Shoes Thrown at Bush by Iraqi Journalist
It took an Iraqi to do what any American should have done a long time ago. Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq today and received a surprise of his own. After shouting, “It is the farewell kiss, you dog,” a reporter for Al-Baghdadia television named Muntazer al-Zaidi hurled both his shoes at George Bush’s head. Unfortunately, he had quite a fast reaction for an old guy and ducked out of the way, but I still watched this at least 10 times for the look on his face…
From what I understand, this was a symbolic gesture, as the soles of shoes are considered a major insult in Arab culture. (Of course, I can’t think of any culture that would perceive size 10’s to the head as a compliment.) Fittingly, Iraqis threw shoes and used them to beat Saddam Hussein’s statue in Baghdad when it was pulled down a few years back, as captured in those now famous pictures and videos. While many people have brought up the point that Zaidi would have been instantly put to death if he did the same to Saddam, you also have to understand that he just covered the U.S. bombing of Baghdad’s Sadr City earlier this year, and with thousands dead, millions of citizens displaced, and no electricity or drinking water available in most of the country, I can see why he’d want to give Bush the Iraqi equivalent of the middle finger. Sure, shit was bad under Saddam, but if this is any indication, dodging bombs and wandering streets of rubble wasn’t exactly the “freedom” the Iraqi people had in mind. Who knew? A fitting end to Bush’s legacy, I’d say.
Most Expensive Thing. Ever.
This is unconfirmed at the moment as I haven’t had the chance to personally dig up each figure, then adjust it for inflation, but the graphic over at Voltage Creative is scary stuff. In a nutshell, it illustrates in pie graph form how the cost of the 2008 Bailout equals the following:
- The Marshall Plan
- The Louisiana Purchase
- Moonshot
- S&L Crisis
- The Korean War
- The New Deal
- The Iraq War
- The Vietnam War
- NASA’s all time budget.
Now, I’m no economist. But - seriously?
The Week in Muckmaking: 11/23/08
Every weekend, we highlight some of the scandals you may have missed in a post we like to call “The Week in Muckmaking”…
- The Wall Street Journal did an interesting report on atheists and freethinkers across the country trying to get noticed by advertising their lack of faith on billboards, hosting friendly meet-ups, and staging a Freethought Day. As polls continue to show that atheists are quite outnumbered in America, they also note that faith in organized religion is declining rapidly. As they mention in the article, Christians are all insulted by this and want to squelch all this dissent as quickly as it arises. This quote, in particular, was priceless…
Atheists “are talking to a very small slice of the population,” said Mathew Staver, a leading Christian conservative and law-school dean. “In some ways, they’re really just talking to themselves.”
That’s funny, coming from a guy who speaks to an invisible deity in the sky on a daily basis. It’s disheartening that in 2008, we’re still fighting for just basic acceptance. Our ideas may be offensive to you, but it should be no more offensive than the Jews or Muslims are to your beliefs. The vitriol is unnecessary and exposes more about your lack of faith than it does mine. I think it will be a slow and painful process towards a freethinking nation. England’s been at this a lot longer and they still haven’t shaken it off completely yet, so we’ve obviously got a while to go.
- Good ol’ Justice Scalia is making headlines again with his latest interpretation (re: bastardization) of the Constitution, which he espoused at a Federal Bar Association dinner in Houston. Not only did he criticize those who view the Constitution as a “living document” that must evolve and adapt to the times (even though it was clearly tailor-made to do just that), but he also said, “I fear the courts’ use of foreign law in interpreting the Constitution will continue at an accelerated pace,” complaining that foreign laws were cited to strike down anti-sodomy laws in Texas. For a Supreme Court justice, he seems to understand very little about the foundation of our justice system. Most of our basic laws were based on English common law (the founding fathers weren’t completely original), and Scalia himself has cited English common law regularly, such as in his dissent of Boumediene v. Bush. But, like all conservatives, he lives by only one law – “Do as I say, not as I do.”
- I’m quite sick of reading about the Hillary Secretary of State story already, but this headline brightened my day - Obama to Tap Clinton After Thanksgiving. I mean, it spares Bill from having to do it, but shit, man, you can do better than that. A lot of people are critical of Obama’s pick, but you’ve got to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, and if she was his enemy in the Senate, I think he’d be getting a lot less done. And Hillary can be one hell of an ally, especially in women’s rights issues. Bush was trying to push religion back into health care in a last-minute stab against pro-choice advocates, but Hillary was already on top of it. There’s some change I can believe in.
- In the “What took you so long?!” department, Dick Cheney, as well as former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, have been indicted by a Texas grand jury over their investments in the Vanguard Group, which holds interests in the prison companies running those federal detention centers we keep hearing so many great things about. Not only has it been well-established that Cheney has known about and approved of the unlawful torture in said prisons, it seems that he had something to gain financially from them as well. There’s a conflict of interest if I ever heard one. District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra has been doing his best to push this thing forward, but it’s already hitting a wall because of the presiding judge. You know as well as I do that no one can touch Darth Cheney - if nothing came of the Halliburton scandal by now, this has no hope of going anywhere. A valiant effort, though.
- And finally this week, the U.S. is expected to spend more on defense in fiscal year 2009 than the next 44 highest-spending countries combined. Conservatives, the military, and arms manufacturers are pushing an agenda known as “Four Percent for Freedom,” a misleading title that implies that if we don’t spend 4% of our GDP on hopeless wars that nobody wants (except those who profit), then we must, of course, hate freedom. The only freedom we need to be pushing right now is freedom of thought. Here we are in the middle of a deep recession and economic crisis and all the warhawks can think about is how many more toys they’ll get to buy for Christmas this year. Thanks to Crooks and Liars for bringing this story to my attention, as I’m sure this fight is far from over, even with a Democratic president.
Setting the Conservative Bloggers and Pundits Straight About Bush and Obama
It looks like I’ve got to put a lot of people in their place tonight. It’s not going to be pretty, but all of this has to be said. The conservative bloggers and pundits are at it again, so let’s put some very fucking stupid complaints to bed already, shall we?
First of all, Obama’s not a natural-born citizen? Really?! How fucking sad and desperate are you people? Forget that’s he’s been a U.S. senator the past several years. Forget that he was born in Hawaii. You can even forget that he is not a naturalized citizen, which immediately shoots down any of the laws these morons are quoting. Just bear in mind one simple fact – even teenagers working for McDonald’s had to go through a simple background check. Do you really think the Democrats would have wasted millions of dollars and a chance at reclaiming the White House on a guy they hoped no one would “figure out”? Then again, these are the same people who claim that he is a “secret Muslim” who “pals around with terrorists,” as if the second he gets into the White House he’s going to exclaim, “Haha! Gotcha, bitches! It’s fuckin’ jihad time!” and start launching our own nuclear weapons against us. And they claim that we’re the conspiracy theorists! You’re just pissed because you don’t have any real dirt to dig up, which brings me to the next thing conservatives have to shut the fuck up about…
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| A beer? With you? You’re killing me here! |
We haven’t been “picking” on Dubya. We weren’t “unfair” to the Republicans. Pointing out obvious facts isn’t an “attack” – it’s an evaluation. George W. Bush was a shitty, shitty president. Just fucking admit it. No, seriously, what didn’t this guy fuck up? Before becoming president, this guy couldn’t get a gym membership without invoking his daddy’s name. He barely scraped through college. He barely served in the National Guard. He barely squirmed his way out of prosecution for insider trading before he even made his debut in politics. He barely got elected president, and he couldn’t even do that legitimately. Then he ignored specific intelligence that could have prevented 9/11, used 9/11 to lead us into war based on false pretences, spit on the Constitution by oppressing dissent and authorizing warrantless wiretapping, violated international laws by going to war without UN approval and refusing to close military prisons that condone torture, stood idly by while Katrina devastated several states that still have not seen relief, ripped through our billion dollar surplus and turned it into a billion dollar deficit, let his cronies on Wall Street run wild, gave tax cuts to the rich while ignoring the middle class, and filled his pockets and the pockets of his administration with so much dirty money that Richard Nixon would blush. It makes me sick that just because he’s on your “team” that you’d defend this pile of shit to the bitter end, and it really is the bitter end at this point, isn’t it? We have not seen a recession like this since the Great Depression, and while the pillars of our economy continue to collapse around us, here you are defending the guy with the sledgehammer. Bush and his administration didn’t even try to hide their corporate ties or their arrogant self-righteousness – they knew that idiots like you would blindly vote Republican anyway. I remember the Republicans saying that they wanted to vote for someone they could have a beer with; someone they could relate to. If you could relate to someone as despicable as George W. Bush, then I pity you, because you are a selfish, disgusting excuse for a human being. You’re a coward who would let others work themselves to the bone or die in a desert so that you could profit or settle a score for your old man. You’re a thief, you’re a liar, and you’re a tool for someone who couldn’t give a flying fuck about you. If he saw you in the street, he’d smirk at the thought of how much money he stole from you as you waved naively. He wouldn’t have a beer with you because you’re not in his fucking tax bracket. He’s going to retire to a beautiful ranch while you struggle to make ends meet. I hope your asinine ideology was worth it, you fucking dipshits.
And finally tonight, I have to dispel this Obama “cult” thing. See, Republicans are so fucking thickheaded that they can’t even picture a likable candidate. John McCain was just another spoiled, malicious businessman who would sell his soul (or divorce his disfigured ex-wife) for any bit of financial and political gain. He abandoned any principle he once held that made him a “maverick” to score that nomination. He embraced religious leaders he once labeled as “agents of intolerance.” He employed Rovian politics, the same that squashed his 2000 nomination, and ran a campaign based around hate, fear, and ignorance. He attacked Obama over petty relations like Bill Ayers, yet neglected to discuss the Keating Five. He isn’t even a likable human being – this is a guy that even fellow Republicans label a “hothead” (to put it lightly). He couldn’t even restrain himself from snapping on his drug-addicted “cunt” of a wife in front of reporters. By contrast, Obama’s a guy who worked his way from the bottom to the top, stood on his own two feet without his daddy’s name or connections, seems to honestly love his wife, raised some pretty normal kids, and speaks eloquently, calmly, and more candidly than any non-Independent I’ve ever seen. No, I don’t think he’s perfect. No, I don’t think he’s untouchable or uncorrupted – he was a U.S. senator, after all. This whole “messiah” image was conjured up by McCain’s campaign as yet another smear in the place of truth. Most Obama supporters, including myself, just saw a new face who wasn’t born a child of privilege. He didn’t have this storied past of indictments and shady business connections. He’s seen the world outside of your precious little red states and doesn’t despise everyone with a funny name or strange belief system. He’s gone on record with some amazingly bold statements about race and religion that no other politician would touch. In fact, he’s the first candidate that I’ve voted for in my lifetime that I wasn’t just voting for by default. I know it’s a hard concept to comprehend after eight years of Mr. 28% Approval Rating, but I voted for Obama because he seems like someone who’s actually going to take his job seriously and not just focus on filling his own wallet to the brim. I will be critical of him. In fact, I may end of being more critical of him than I was of Bush because now I’m partially responsible for his presidency. I can’t fall back on the “…well I didn’t vote for him” excuse. I have more riding on this than you do. I mean, he can’t fuck up this country any worse than your asshole did, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t disappoint. I’ll get back to you in four years.
A “cult” is something, typically, that leads to some pretty sick shit. The cults of Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini led to the rise of the most powerful fascist regime in the world, igniting a World War full of unforgettable atrocities. The infamous cult of Charles Manson led to the brutal slaying of seven people. The Peoples Temple cult led to the suicides of 918 people, and several murders for good measure. So when you refer to enthusiastic Obama voters as a “cult,” I just can’t help but laugh at your utter ignorance of the term. I don’t remember cyanide-laced Kool-Aid being handed out at rallies. I don’t recall any speeches about wiping other religions and “impurities” from the face of the earth. I remember a composed, rational candidate discussing peace, unity, and understanding amongst every walk of life. You’re not going to be rounded up and thrown into detention camps for disagreeing – you’re just going to look really fucking stupid, and something tells me that won’t be a problem for you people. You’re clearly used to it.
