Post from: Muckmakers.com

Republican Tries to Avoid Becoming Another Santorum

Florida Rep. Gaston Cantens (or, someone on his behalf) is currently undertaking a black hat SEO tactic to try and avoid becoming the next Rick Santorum. Given the very public Google-joke at Mr. Santorum’s expense, it’s not hard to see why.

Click to see the full version.

That would be a screenshot of the blogger area of the link buying service PayPerPost.com. Buying links inside blog posts with “Gaston Cantens” as the anchor text (clickable portion) of the link will help raise that myfloridahouse.gov profile page to the top of the Google rankings for Mr. Canten’s name.

Now that political news, mud-slinging and reputation management has moved to the digital age in a very public way, Republicans respond exactly as you would expect them to – by throwing money at the problem.

Post from: Muckmakers.com

America’s Income Gap Makes the Third World Look Promising

I hate to break up all that wonderful 4th of July patriotism with this one, but this is something your bank account has been telling you for decades…

The gap between America’s rich and poor is so extreme levels of inequality are worse in the land of the free than they are in many developing countries.

The U.S. ranks way behind the European Union and the United Kingdom in terms of inequality of pay, figures show. In fact, the situation is so extreme the land of the free falls behind countries such as Cameroon, the Ivory Coast and revolutionary Egypt, Tunisia and Yemen – and only just in front of Uganda and Jamaica.

According to the CIA’s World Fact Book, which ranks countries in terms of how ‘equally’ wealth is distributed, the U.S. is the 42nd most unequal country in the world.

Wages are so bad nowadays that you can’t even pay the CIA to lie to you anymore! This isn’t the America I know…oh wait, it is because I’m not paying an immigrant servant to type this for me while I dictate from an in-ground pool full of naked women.

Income disparity in the U.S. has been growing for decades but the latest figures show it has now reached levels not seen since the Great Depression.

Ten percent of the total personal income in America was taken home by the top 0.1 per cent of earners in 2008 – the latest year for which figures are available.

The top one percent took home more than a fifth of all personal income in the U.S. Research suggests the reason for this extraordinary disparity is a huge rise in pay for company executives, the Washington Post reported.

The important thing to take away from this is not that you’re taking in nowhere near what the top 0.1 per cent of earners are, it’s that you never will be. No, really. You could win the lottery on the same day that you find out that Brad Pitt is your long-lost brother who is leaving his life savings to you when he dies of a cancerous tumor he just discovered last week and you still won’t be bringing in what these fuckers are. You can teabag Reagan’s corpse while you bathe in a golden shower of trickle-down economics – it’s not fucking happening. And it’s happening because people keep ignoring this data and believing in that same American dream your ancestors did…you know, the same people who suffered through that Great Depression thing we were just talking about. Don’t you think that if you’re living in the same statistical poverty that they were that you’d finally start to stir from your slumber? Nah, that new job and fat paycheck are coming any day now…Yep, any day now…

There is a difference between us and those third-world countries, however – they start a revolution when they get sick and tired of getting fucked. But unlike most articles you’ll find about this topic, I’m not encouraging a revolution because I know you just won’t do it. Not only will you not do it, you’ll defend this massive gap by screaming into it loudly, “If you want more money, then you have to earn it!” It may echo real loud in that deep, dark hole, but that doesn’t make those words any less small or hollow. Do you really believe that slime like the Koch brothers and the Walton family got to where they are today because of honest hard work and sound investment plans? The truth is that for every came-from-nothing shining example you can throw at me, I can name 100 pieces of shit who lied, cheated, and stole their way to the top and continue to do so to maintain their god-like status over the rest of us. They did this by slowly stripping away every last bit of pride and common sense from desperate working people and by painting their scraps to look like gold. It’s not “communism” to demand basic rights, fair pay, or equal taxes – it’s “a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system.” If you don’t know what that means, I suggest looking it up.

So instead of getting mad at me for saying all this, why don’t you just go start your little revolution? Dust off those rifles, hum your little patriotic hymns, and march right to the capital waving your flags made in China…

…I’m waiting…

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Don’t let that loose spring in your couch cushion give you too much trouble, now.

Post from: Muckmakers.com

It’s OK, NBC – Bellamy Also Forgot to Add “Under God”

So, as the whole country (and apparently all of Twitter) knows by now, NBC left out the “under god” line in the Pledge of Allegiance in the ridiculously self-indulgent, patriotic jerkfest of an opening montage for the U.S. Open. I have no idea what soldiers and children reciting the pledge have to do with tennis, but if you even offhandedly suggest that there are people dying to “protect our freedom” to whack a yellow bouncy ball over a net while overdramatically sighing, I’ll seriously reach through your internet connection, even if it’s wi-fi, and slap you across the face for being an absolute fucking moron. Actually, I’d do that even if you said you were just watching tennis.

Anyway, NBC apologized, but the networks (including their own) will continue to drag this out for the next week or so as an excuse to bash atheists and focus on trivial topics that distract from the real problems our country is facing – two things the media is excellent at. It’s sad that the only time the majority of this country is willing to discuss matters of mixing church and state is when some overpaid pundit jumps on a non-issue like this one, and their point is never to “discuss” anything. They just push all the right buttons, and like mindless, reactionary robots, we scream about the evils of godlessness and the preserving of great American traditions and other logical fallacies that fail to address the heart of the subject or contain any semblance of truth.

Hey Twitter, do you know who else left out “under god” out of the Pledge of Allegiance? THE FUCKING GUY WHO WROTE IT. Francis Bellamy wrote the pledge in 1892, and despite being a Baptist minister, he never thought to include his religious belief in that simple oath, hoping to unite rather than divide. In fact, he also considered himself a Christian socialist, so it was ironic that his words were later changed out of fear of some of the very ideas its original author stood for. The pledge was formally recognized by Congress in 1942, but in 1954, in a cowardly reaction to the Red Scare, President Dwight D. Eisenhower authorized the official addition of the religious phrase. I’ve found that the people who seem to talk the most about rights and freedoms are those who are working the hardest to take those very things away from you, and nothing embodied that more than the ensuing wave of McCarthyism.

It’s funny how Americans spend so much time sucking off the Founding Fathers and raising them up like infallible gods on high, yet Bellamy specifically wrote the pledge with their intentions in mind and here we are claiming it’s “un-American” to not include a phrase that wasn’t found in its first draft or even its first official adoption. It’s also a phrase that you won’t find in any of the documents the country was founded on, yet we let fear mongers slap it on our currency and indoctrinate us with it in prejudiced campaigns that often resembled those of our enemies. You hear so much about how our country was better off “back in the good old days,” yet these same flag-waving dipshits would rather recite a 57-year-old pledge over a 119-year-old pledge. I know it’s more fun to make up your own version of history that fits your narrow-minded, spoon-fed worldview, but let’s try to remember that fifth grade education, people. It’s a pledge, not a prayer; you’re swearing allegiance to the country, not to a higher power – all you have to do is read it to understand that much.

I also love how often the word “godless” is thrown around in these debates as a negative term, though to call those “debates” imply that the other side is actually listening and responding to the others’ arguments. The true atheists aren’t actually heard from at all during these one-sided, hate-filled tirades, and if they are, it’s only to put them on for a 30-second segment in which they have no time to form a cohesive sentence, never mind a rebuttal. Secular, largely atheistic countries have the lowest crime and teen pregnancy rates in the world, and less than one percent of America’s prisons contain godless criminals, but again and again people are told that atheism leads to moral degradation, and again and again the unwashed masses eat it up without question. If one of those same pundits used “Jewish,” for example, in the same nasty, condescending tone they use to utter “godless,” you better believe that network would have him fired faster than you could tweet, “I’m offended!” Guess what? #noonecares

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if NBC’s exclusion of those words was due to poor editing or to make a purposeful statement – what matters is that the thoughtful dialogue that could result from such snafus always ends up being reduced to 140 character whining with absolutely no context or forethought. You’re not special, you’re not quotable, you’re not clever, and you’re definitely not ready for a real discussion on real national concerns. Everyone I’ve refuted on this wasn’t too happy about having their history corrected, but you shouldn’t bring it up if you don’t want to look as stupid as you clearly are.

And what were any of you doing watching tennis anyway? If you really have that little to do, America, try picking up the book you use to balance your coffee table and actually reading it. In the same time it takes to exercise your freedoms, you could actually learn about why you have them in the first place. Spoiler: It’s not because of the theocratic bullshit being spewed by “news” programs and “concerned” politicians.

“Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should “make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” thus building a wall of separation between Church and State.”
-Thomas Jefferson, in an 1802 letter to the Danbury Baptist Association

Post from: Muckmakers.com

A Stroke of Luck

I’m not one who believes in karma, or much else for that matter, but goddamn is this a “payback’s a bitch” kind of moment…

The radio preacher who sparked an international media frenzy by predicting the end of the world last month has suffered a stroke. Harold Camping was rushed to hospital from his Alameda, California home on Thursday night.

The 89-year-old has survived the stroke – but there are fears that the gravelly, famous voice he used to make his predictions to millions around the world will never be the same.

And whose “fear” is this? The thousands of people he knowingly ripped off over the years who are broke (or at least financially hurting) now because of him? If this is a guy who’s always looking to the skies for a sign, maybe he should take this as a not-so-subtle hint to shut the fuck up already and pack it in.

At least we know that now he’ll be talking out of the side of his face instead of his ass. Hopefully, he’ll go for a nice, long drive and that will be the last we hear from Dr. Doomsday…

Post from: Muckmakers.com

Someone’s Going to be Richer on May 22, and It’s Not You

Amongst all this May 21 “The End Is Nigh” bullshit, people are too busy selling all their worldly possessions or laughing their asses off to take this into account…

At the center of it all, Camping’s organization, Family Radio, is perfectly happy to take your money — and in fact, received $80 million in contributions between 2005 and 2009. Camping founded Family Radio, a nonprofit Christian radio network based in Oakland, Calif. with about 65 stations across the country, in 1958.

But not even all of his own employees are convinced that the world is ending on Saturday. In fact, many still plan on showing up at work on Monday.

“I don’t believe in any of this stuff that’s going on, and I plan on being here next week,” a receptionist at their Oakland headquarters told CNNMoney.

A program producer in Illinois told us, “We’re going to continue doing what we’re doing.”

Oh, I’m sure you are, which is ripping people off in the one of the lowest ways possible. This is the same Harold Camping, after all, that told us the world was going to end in 1994. While he broke the Golden Rule of religion – never present a testable claim – he also kept in mind that sheep have short attention spans.

According to their most recent IRS filings, Family Radio is almost entirely funded by donations, and brought in $18 million in contributions in 2009 alone. According to those financial documents, accountants put the total worth of Family Radio (referred to as Family Stations on its official forms) at $72 million.

Most of the group’s net worth is tied up in FCC broadcasting licenses, valued at $56 million. Family Radio claimed it held only $1.5 million in cash on its books at the end of 2009. The paperwork shows Camping has so far, never taken a penny for his own salary, but Family Radio has plenty of other paid employees.

At the ripe old age of 89, he seems to be living quite well for someone who doesn’t make any money. After all, if it’s not on paper, it must not exist, right? Bernie Madoff thought the same thing.

The nonprofit employed about 350 people and paid them a collective $8.3 million — or roughly $23,000 per person — in 2009.

Meanwhile, some employees are questioning the meaning of Harold Camping’s goodbye letter sent to the Family Radio mailing list last week. While he says farewell, he encourages employees to “steadfastly continue to stand with us to proclaim the Gospel through Family Radio.”

Yeah, he seems to have a lot of obvious holes in his story, doesn’t he? Why would he request a November extension to file their financial paperwork when the world is ending in October? Dodging your obligations isn’t a “family value” that I’m aware of. I’ve also read that at least $100 million was spent on the recent ad campaign alone, which Camping’s own producer called a “conservative estimate,” so that means a hell of a lot more money was made to keep everybody paid. I can’t wait to see the paperwork (or lack thereof) for that one.

Even 80% of his own employees freely admit that he’s full of shit, yet they still cash those paychecks funded by other people’s stupidity every week, don’t they? The Catholic Church is full of the same type of callous apathy towards its largely poor followers, but they could definitely learn something from these guys. Around here, all the churches are closing, but business seems to be booming in the Family Radio doomsday bunker.

After all, Camping has made it quite clear that no refunds will be available on Sunday…

Post from: Muckmakers.com

Corbett’s Heavy Lifting

Via Go Lackawanna:

Gov. Tom Corbett will undergo back surgery for treatment of spinal stenosis on Monday morning, May 16, at Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh.

During the time when the governor is under general anesthesia, Lt. Gov. James Cawley will be “acting governor,’’ in accordance with articles of the state constitution, until Corbett is able to resume the powers and duties of the office.

He must have injured his back carrying all that weight for the natural gas industry. At least he can guarantee that his doctors are well-educated, as they all graduated before he absolutely fucked Pennsylvania’s educational system. I’m sure those awesome health benefits his party is denying everyone else sure are coming in handy right now too.

Post from: Muckmakers.com

May 21, 2011 Will Be the Day That Saturday Happens

What are guys doing on May 21, 2011? The same thing everyone else will be doing – not being “Raptured.”

Somehow I doubt all that money being collected from gullible Chicken Littles will be going towards apology billboards, but hey, what do I know? I’m just the guy with a website that doesn’t look like it was made in 1994…you know, the last time Harold Camping predicted the end of the world and was completely wrong about it.

Post from: Muckmakers.com

I Am Utterly Unsurprised

From the new York Times…

The wife of Justice Clarence Thomas, who has raised her political profile in the last year through her outspoken conservative activism, is rebranding herself as a lobbyist and self-appointed “ambassador to the Tea Party movement.”

Virginia Thomas, the justice’s wife, said on libertyinc.co, a Web site for her new political consulting business, that she saw herself as an advocate for “liberty-loving citizens” who favored limited government, free enterprise and other core conservative issues. She promised to use her “experience and connections” to help clients raise money and increase their political impact.

What’s that saying about justice being blind, again?

Post from: Muckmakers.com

America’s Joyous Future

I’m assuming that this church is filled every Sunday with the same 8 in 10 simpletons who think prayer saved Congresswoman Giffords. I guess the family of 9-year-old Christina Green just didn’t pray hard enough.

Post from: Muckmakers.com

Weekend TEA Party & Red State Reading

As I sit here ding my normal reading rounds for the weekend, I came across two articles that I wanted to share. The first touches on a topic that I’ve been meaning to do a post on since I stumbled upon Fuck The South again a few weeks backs. While the entire thing is worth reading, the long and short of it is this: Red states, the ones (presumably) filled with people complaining about the size of the government, receive (on average) considerably more federal funding for every dollar they pay in taxes than blue states.

Some select quotes..

You see, the 18 bluest-of-the-godless-blue states receive on average only 87 cents in federal tax dollars for every tax dollar paid. On the other hand, the 18 reddest states average a tidy $1.37 for every dollar mailed off to the IRS. Such a deal!

Given the reality of the situation, frankly, I’m continually amazed that, together with your Limbaugh and Fox News red state lemmings, you are out bashing the federal government. Godless and liberal though it might be, it’s all that stands between your red state constituents and “Brother, can you spare a dime?”

Full story here as well as the data source.

The second is hits a related note, though more specifically aimed at the TEA party. The basic points raised boils down to the fact that many TEA party “patriots” are actually living off of the government, be it through unemployment checks, or Medicare. For a group who’s name apparently stands for Taxed Enough Already, they apparently have no issue about accepting the Government spending when it benefits them. Never mind the… minor detail that EVERYONE is currently paying less in federal taxes than they did (or would have) in the years between 1992-2000. Christ, for most of Reagan’s term in office, the top tax rate was 50%. 50%, a full 15% over the current top bracket. In the late 1970′s, if you made over $102,000 a year, you’d have paid 70 cents in tax on every dollar earned (over the 102k).

Anyway, you can read the full article at Rolling Stone. Here’s a taste:

Suddenly, tens of thousands of Republicans who had been conspicuously silent during George Bush’s gargantuan spending on behalf of defense contractors and hedge-fund gazillionaires showed up at Tea Party rallies across the nation, declaring themselves fed up with wasteful government spending. From the outset, the events were organized and financed by the conservative wing of the Republican Party, which was quietly working to co-opt the new movement and deploy it to the GOP’s advantage.