It appears that Bernie Madoff, who was our pick for Worst Businessman in the 2009 Muckmaker Awards, is vying for a spot on our 2010 list. While kids caught with a bag of weed serve sentences that are stiffer than their cellmates’ cocks in their asses, the guy who stole $50 billion and dealt a serious blow to our economy is still sleeping in his own bed, albeit with an ankle bracelet. (Aww, poor baby…that must be cold at night.) Now he thinks that his wife should be able to keep $70 million of that money, including the luxury apartment that he’s “confined” to at the moment…
Madoff argues that his wife should be able to keep the property as it is unrelated to the broader fraud, a fraud she knew nothing about.
In addition to the $7 million penthouse on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, Ruth Madoff holds some $45 million in municipal bonds at Cohmad Securities Corp., a brokerage firm partially owned by Bernard L. Madoff, according to the filing. She also holds $17 million at Wachovia Bank, according to the filing. She withdrew $15.5 million from Cohmad shortly before Mr. Madoff was arrested, on Dec. 11.
This guy pulled off the biggest financial fraud in United States history and he thinks that we should take him at his word that his wife didn’t know a thing? Most guys can’t sneak out to have a beer with the guys after work without their wives knowing and this guy claims that his had no idea where the money was coming from?! (That last-minute withdrawal was for groceries, right?) Even if that were true, which it isn’t, is he actually asserting that it’s her money?! Does he seriously have the balls to state that his wife earned this money on her own? How else could it be “unrelated” to the fraud? Shit, if I had known that you could earn $70 million by tanning on the beach or playing golf on private courses, I would have jumped on that “Spoiled Bitch” position down at the plant years ago. Oh well – hindsight is 20/20…the vision I would have if I had $2,000 for corrective eye surgery. Ruth just douched this morning with a wad of twenty dollar bills worth $2,000.
Here’s an idea – no sentence. No jury. No long, drawn-out court case. Just take every penny of money away from every member of the Madoff family and put them out on the street. That’s it. If they don’t eat each other alive for sustenance, they’ll kill themselves rather than live like the rest of us do, starting out with nothing in our bank account every month and struggling to make it work until the next. I couldn’t type enough italic tags and exclamation points to express the level of my frustration right now. Maybe I can calm down on my 15 minute break at my third job that I need just to pay the bills by walking down to the adjacent convenient store and buying a pack of cigarettes. I don’t smoke…I just want to light them and put each and every one out on my face because I think that would be less infuriating than thinking about the Madoffs sleeping tonight on a mattress that cost more than my car…you know, after I’ve paid it off in another two years.
