I’m not really known for my popular opinions, so I’ll skip the introduction and just say this outright – I’m glad that Michael Jackson is dead.
My opinion stems from the hype he created around himself much more than anything he did personally, although I must go off on a tangent from my main point for a minute and wonder why this guy was given a free pass by so many people for the pedophilia thing. Whether or not a few parents and their kids lied about molestation is irrelevant – the fact is Michael used to play and sleep with lots of small children. That much we know for sure. If that wasn’t creepy enough, he had several children by surrogate mothers and then scarred them mentally for life by making them wear strange masks and dangling them out windows and who knows what else. People always jump to the “he had a bad childhood” defense, but that doesn’t excuse him from fucking up other kids’ childhoods, thus making him just as bad as his own abusive father. And the only reason people don’t want to think that he molested anyone is because they like his music and still want to listen to it without feeling weird about it – if he was Fred Durst, people would say he was guilty as fuck.
But I digress. The reason I’m glad that Michael is dead is because the media’s obsession with him will finally die with him. Yes, we’re going to watch career retrospectives, tributes, and tons of special/exclusive/investigative/insider reports over the next few months, and I’m sure his kids will come up in the news here and there, but there will finally be no more “breaking news” about the King of Pop. The real news will never be put on hold again for exclusive footage of Michael’s bad parenting or shocking new pictures of his latest plastic surgery. Never again will I have to hear about his financial troubles or what some pundit or gossip writer thinks of his stupid outfits. I won’t ever have to hear one of his mind-numbingly idiotic addresses to his obsessive fans or his painfully general and naïve statements about the children of the world. And what will late-night hosts joke about now that punchlines about his skin color aren’t relevant anymore? Folks, we have reached the end of an era – the celebrity distraction that keeps on giving I finally at peace, and with him dies a miserable tradition in “news” reporting.
The media has focused on Jackson more than any other celebrity because it was the train wreck story that never seemed to end – just when you thought he couldn’t get weirder, creepier, or crazier, he topped himself. Meanwhile, his career continued to topple. Yes, he had a ton of sold-out shows lined up. Yes, he was poised for a “comeback.” But look at it another way – does anyone remember his 2001 album Invincible? You’ve been hearing a lot about Thriller lately, but not much at all about Invincible (an ironic title, considering the current circumstances). I wonder why that is…maybe because it wasn’t all that great and was met with lukewarm reviews. The album sold 10 million copies, but does anyone remember it? The Michael Jackson everyone loved back in the ‘80s and early ‘90s is long gone. A lot of celebrities, especially singers, just don’t know when to hang it up, and very few ever leave on a high note. How many get to do their best album and then retire…or die, as the case may be? They slowly decline on stage for all the world to see, and younger fans pay to see them so they can say that they saw a “legend” in concert while older fans just humor them because they’re grateful for that artist’s past work. Just look at Ozzy Osbourne – no one has the heart to tell him that he can’t sing worth a shit anymore…hell, he can’t even utter a cohesive fucking sentence. When you stop biting the heads off doves and start letting MTV follow you around with a camera, you officially need to retire the “Prince of Darkness” moniker. In the same vein, you can’t be the King of Pop if you don’t tour or put out a decent album for more than a fucking decade. Even hardcore fans should admit that it would have been all downhill from here – a 50-year-old freak with flaring plastic nostrils would be moonwalking across that stage in place of that badass black man in tight leather we once knew and loved. Whatever he “did for music” he did a long time ago, and the guy who made that music has been dead since that time. All we’ve had since is a strange little man dressed in overly expensive women’s clothing begging for attention and then whining when he got it. What we had was the world’s biggest media distraction, all style (if you want to call it that) and no substance.
Time and again I have seen significant events passed over by the corporate media to cover Mr. Jackson’s escapades, so as I’ve said, I’m glad that he’s dead so that this era of utter nonsense reporting can die with him. I realize that there will always be another celebrity to preoccupy us and consume precious airtime (I’m looking directly at you, Ms. Spears), but if Michael was the king of anything, he was certainly the king of these idiots. He gave us Thriller and Bad, but he also made us dig deep within ourselves to find reasons to stick up for a fucked up pedophile, and is that really the kind of hope for a better world he sung about? So live it up now, paparazzi – once you’ve sold your last funeral pics to the highest bidder, there will only be a few more months of “speculation” surrounding his death before the story is as stiff as his corpse. No news is good news, as they say, and that has never been more true.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
stop hating
yeah. it seams like the media can’t stop talking about michael jackson.
Stop hating a known pedophile who not only let fame go straight to his plastic head but fucked up his children for life as well, Deborah? No thanks – I’ll stick with my gut on this one.
My Hero Ain’t Molest Them Bitch Ass Kids
I haven’t been compelled to blog in a long time.
In an era where everybody is twittering and text-messaging their lives away, a well-thought out essay that extends past 140 characters is quickly becoming a thing of the past.
But when our universe lost its brightest star on June 25, 2009, I felt a deep, overwhelming sadness that I haven’t experienced in many years and I felt moved to say….something.
My hero, Michael Joseph Jackson, is dead.
Honestly I’m still trying to process it, almost like the loss of a much-loved family member. I mean, hell, to many of us Michael WAS family. Much like Nike, or Coca-Cola, or McDonalds, Michael Jackson wasn’t so much a person as he was a living, breathing, American institution; a ubiquitous force that has seemingly existed forever and one that we couldn’t imagine a world without. Seeing Michael onstage was less like watching a musician perform and more akin to witnessing a magician at work.
But contrary to his otherworldly stage presence and magical aura, the man we called The King of Pop proved to be a mere mortal. And now my hero, Michael Joseph Jackson, is dead.
What isn’t dead, unfortunately, is the cloud of false accusations, unsubstantiated rumors, myths, slander, and outright lies that surround his life and his legacy. The greatest myth regarding Michael Jackson is that he was a pedophile who preyed on young children.
It is my belief now, just as it was 16 years ago, that the charges brought against Michael during his 1993 sexual abuse case were false. The allegations made by Jordan Chandler (the accuser) and his father Evan Chandler always seemed suspect to me for a few reasons:
1. Ask the average parent whether they’d want justice or money for their abused child and more than likely they’d say justice, if for no other reason than to protect their child (and other children) from a future attack. The fact that Evan Chandler was willing to essentially let Michael off the hook for a few million (reportedly 2-3), made their case seem like a well-orchestrated extortion attempt. In regards to the case, Evan was later caught on tape saying, “If I go through with this, I win big time. There’s no way I lose. I will get everything I want and they will be destroyed forever…Michael’s career will be over.” Notice that homeboy ain’t mention jack shit about his son. So much for being a concerned father…
2. Generally when victims of abuse come out with allegations against someone, other victims come forward to corroborate their story (i.e. the Catholic Church scandal, where a few parties came forward and it later led to thousands).
Very rarely do child molesters stop at just one kid, or even two for that matter. An alleged pedophile with only two accusers is kinda like an alleged serial killer with only one body. Or an alleged sneaker addict with only two pairs of Jordans in his closet. It just doesn’t make any logical sense, nor does it coincide with the recurring psychological characteristics of most people who fall into those categories.
In the case of Michael Jackson vs. the Chandler family, not a single corroborating witness could be found to help prosecute the case and after raids were conducted on several of Jackson’s homes, no hard evidence of sexual abuse was gathered.
Michael later settled the Chandler case out of court, not as an admission of guilt, but at the behest of his lawyers and financial advisors who warned him that a criminal trial could cost him millions of dollars in legal fees, as well as the loss of hundreds of millions in touring and endorsement revenue. With the Chandler case finally over, Michael continued to tour and released his greatest hits package “HIStory” in 1995. Ten years later though, he would face another trial that, in my opinion, would be the one to literally and figuratively, kill him.
Martin Bashir’s heinous, Machiavellian documentary “Living With Michael Jackson” aired in 2003. It was in this documentary that Mike (albeit foolishly) talked about his fondness for sharing his bed with children, and was seen holding hands with a young boy. Shortly afterwards the young boy from the documentary, 13 year-old Gavin Arvizo (a cancer survivor who had all his medical bills paid for by Michael), accused him of sexual abuse.
When Mike’s case against Arvizo hit airwaves in 2005, I must admit that I had my doubts. Much like the Chris Rock joke, I too shook my head in disbelief and said “ANOTHER kid!?! Mike, what the fuck?!! How could you be THAT stupid?!?!” As the case unraveled though, the financial motivations of the accuser’s family became much more apparent.
Similar to the Chandler case from ‘93, the prosecution couldn’t produce any credible witnesses to corroborate Arvizo’s testimony against Michael. Many of the prosecution’s witnesses were either former employees of Michael who had financial disputes with him, or had criminal convictions themselves. Arvizo’s testimony contradicted previous statements he’d made to officials saying that nothing ever took place between him and Michael, and Arvizo’s mother Janet Arvizo, an eccentric woman with a prior conviction for welfare fraud, single-handedly killed the case with her flippant remarks on the witness stand and overall bizarre courtroom behavior.
Actor Macaulay Culkin came forward in Michael’s defense and testified that no inappropriate behavior ever took place during their many times together, as did many other associates who had spent time at Neverland. Ultimately, Michael emerged from the Arvizo case with a Not Guilty verdict on all counts, but it proved to be a pyrrhic victory. The damage was already done. In the court of popular opinion, The King of Pop was an unrepentant child molestor.
When defending Michael Jackson against his detractors, I am often asked if I would let one of my sons sleep over at his house. The answer is no. Shit, I wouldn’t let my sons sleep over at YOUR house. But that doesn’t make you a pedophile, it just makes me a concerned and protective dad who doesn’t leave his kids around people I personally don’t know well enough to trust.
When it came to children, the only thing Michael was guilty of in my opinion, was naivete. While cuddling in the bed with children isn’t technically illegal, it does violate several social norms; norms that a man who dresses funny, lives at an amusement park and refers to himself as “Peter Pan” would certainly pay a higher price for breaking. When I hear the tales of Michael laying in bed with those children, watching movies, tickling, and engaging in general horseplay, it sounds less like the work of a pedophile and more like the actions of a man trying to experience a childhood he never had.
During his investigation for the Arvizo trial, Michael was examined by Dr. Stan Katz, a clinical psychologist who concluded that Michael didn’t fit the profile of a pedophile but instead that of a regressed 10 year old, an analysis which I agree with wholeheartedly. I mean after all, only a person with the simple, unsuspecting mind of a child could truly believe they could sleep in the same bed as their pre-pubescent buddies and not pay a price for it.
Still, the most saddening myth surrounding Michael’s life is that he was ashamed to be Black. During the mid 80’s, in the midst of his ever-changing skin complexion and facial features, popular opinion in the Black community was that Mike was a sellout. This was an opinion that would unfortunately haunt him for the rest of his life, but a closer look reveals quite the opposite.
As echoed by my man Scorpeze of the house music duo Windimoto in his excellent blog, Michael Jackson never tried to disown or separate himself from his Blackness at any point in his career. In fact, he was probably the most openly pro-Black pop entertainer of his time. Michael Jackson ashamed to be Black? I mean, this was the same guy who:
-portrayed Black people as kings and queens in ancient Egypt (“Remember the Time” video)
-called Tommy Mottola (his then label boss) a devil and a racist
-sang “white man’s gotta make a change” live on the Grammies in ’88
-sang about a beautiful African woman in “Liberian Girl”
-featured an African chant at the end of “Wanna Be Startin Somethin”
-donated over $25 million to the United Negro College Fund
-sang “I ain’t scared of no sheets” in “Black or White” and upped the ante by morphing into a BLACK PANTHER at the video’s end
-wrote a song called “They Don’t Really Care About Us,” with a Spike Lee-directed video that featured prisoners raising the Black power fist
-uhhh “We Are The World” and USA for Africa, anyone?
What about this man wasn’t Black enough? Was it his battle with vitiligo and how it caused skin discoloration? Was it his excessive facial surgeries, due I’m sure in no small part to the teasing and ridicule he faced about his looks as a teenager?
Why did we turn our collective backs on a man who always reminded us that he never forgot who he was, or more importantly, whose he was?
This essay is my plea to all people who consider themselves a fan of Michael Jackson, but especially to Black people: Don’t let them talk about our Brother. Don’t let his naysayers convict him of crimes that were never proven. Don’t let people reduce the memory of one of our greatest heroes to that of a weird guy who wore a shiny glove and molested little boys.
When Elvis Presley died, did the media remember him as an overweight, drug-abusing racist who dated a 14 year-old, or was he eulogized as The King of Rock and Roll?
When Woody Allen dies, do you think the media will focus on the controversy behind him marrying his own stepdaughter, or on the films “Annie Hall” and “Manhattan” and how great they were? (Ditto for Jerry Lee Lewis, the rock and roll pioneer who married his 13-year old cousin.)
When people accuse Michael of being a pedophile or a child molester, ask them to provide hard evidence. Ask them to provide an opinion rooted in fact, rather than one based on gossip, hearsay, and conjecture. Chances are, they won’t be able to. The Black community has done a great disservice in not reciprocating the love that Michael Jackson showed us when he was alive. The least we can do in honoring his death is ensure that his legacy is remembered properly for future generations.
Was Michael Jackson a weirdo? Of course he was a weirdo.
But maybe if you had been in the public eye since you were 7, had grown ass women throwing themselves at you since you were 13, suffered physical abuse at the hands of your father, watched your father and older brothers engage in sex with groupies on tour as a child, were called “Big Nose” and “ugly” by both family members AND fans, developed a skin disease that took away the one thing you repeatedly expressed your pride for, and spent the last half of your life as the most famous person on Earth, you’d probably be a bit of a weirdo too.
I am not attempting to paint Michael Jackson as a saint, as no man ever lives up to such a lofty title. But to me, the phrase “no good deed goes unpunished” seems to sum up Michael Jackson’s life more than ever.
Why would people try to tear down a man who constantly used his power, money, and influence to help others?
Why would people express such disgust and contempt for a man who constantly sang of love and peace, and used his talent to entertain, uplift, and inspire millions?
Tell em that its human nature, I suppose…
Rest in Peace, Brother Michael. I love and miss you dearly.
Phonte
So, Rich… you ‘know’ he’s a pedophile? How’s that? Oh, guilty until innocence is proven? I happen to ‘know’ you’re a goat fucker. Prove you’re not.
Also, have you met his kids? Then how do you know the first thing about them. Oh, it’s just your educated guess? That would require an education, wouldn’t it?
Rich i’m with you. when i heard he was dead i felt tremendous relief. for him and myself so i soon will never have to see another sick m jackson headline. it was fucked up and thank god its over.
deborah, stfu. i have no patience for “hater mongers”. bet you’re too paralyzed to write or post something yourself. why didn’t you follow that secret dream you never told anyone about? cause you were scared.
Wow, lots of fun reactions to this one. I’ll start with Phonte. Your blog was muchly appreciated, although you could have simply linked to the post on your Myspace instead of copying and pasting it here. I would have read it, I swear! I understand your perspective completely, but at the same time, I find it dangerous to support any celebrity so completely with so much conviction. I have many heroes, sure, but none that I would pretend to “know” so well.
Mr. Bwahaha!, you’re next. Let me ask you this – if you had children (and I sincerely hope that you’ve never reproduced), you would trust a middle-aged man to sleep in the same bed with them and play with them alone, behind closed doors? If so, you’re not only naive, but just asking for something to happen. You don’t find it weird or unnatural that this adult liked to play and hang out with other people’s kids? He freely admitted that he slept next to them in his bed, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t really sleep next to people that I’m not sexually attracted to. Insert a “your mom” joke here, as I’m sure that you still find those amusing. As for his children, you REALLY think they’re coming out normal after being shrouded in secrecy, given no contact with their mothers, not sent to a proper school with other normal kids, forced to wear masks wherever they went, and given a very skewed perspective of the outside world? You claim that you are more educated than me, yet any idiot could tell that they’re not going to grow up right. Anyone under that much pressure cracks eventually, and it’s certainly in their genes to do so. You seem to pretty damn sure That MJ was a saint, yet you accuse ME of gross speculation without evidence. I’d love to see your proof, sir. And by the way, I CAN prove that I’m not a goat fucker – I have never once fucked your mom. (See, another mom joke. Now I’m speaking in a language you may understand.)
And thank you, dcab and Mark, for actually understand the POINT of the article. The truth is, I don’t give a flying fuck about the guy. This isn’t really about him. If it were up to me, I’d leave him to his own devices, no matter how weird or fucked up they are. If parents want to leave their children in his care, it’s their fault and no one else’s if things get freaky. I think the news should be dedicated to informing people of the stories and issues that affect the world…not the insane ramblings of a washed-up pop star. The world never changes or gets better by watching American Idol – it changes when people face the issues head on and do something about them. Issues like The Ryan Report should have been repeated over and over for months after their release, but instead we get 24/7 coverage of a dead guy. If people want to claim that MJ had a deep emotional affect on their lives or their music or whatever, then that’s just great, but that MJ died in the early ’90s. The husk that was left by our obsessive media is not the man that people are defending now, and if these people REALLY believed in the things he supposedly stood for, then they’d be out adopting a child or volunteering at a Boys and Girls club or something – not bitching on the internet.
You know so much about Michael Jackson. Now that he has gone you have fuck all to write about. Your life will be dull. Maybe you could hate on someone else? lol
Rock on.
Wow Joey, talk about missing the completely obvious point. A quick glance around the site would tell you that this is the first and only time that I’ve ever written an article about Michael Jackson, and it’ll definitely be the last. We usually “hate on” religion, corporations, businessmen, politicians, etc. I notice that you didn’t criticize the guy who wrote an article 3 times as long praising him and posted it in the comments here…apparently he has a life because you agree with him, but I don’t because I disagree. Funny how that works.
Bah I just breezed through your post and just thought that you seem to know a lot about Wacko Jacko. Thus, meaning you spent a lot of time researching him you sad cunt.
Just because I didn’t reply to the other guys post doesn’t mean I agree with him.
Hating religion, businesses etc? I think that’s just people with a negative mindset aka haters – get a life.
Joey, I know it’s hard for people like you to understand (re: boring, talentless wastes who just breeze through life never accomplishing or changing anything before their poorly attended funeral), but there’s a difference between “hating” on things and pointing out their flaws in hopes to establish change. If you’re happy with the status quo, since you ARE the status quo, that’s just fine – no one asked you to read about the issues. Hundreds of other people come here daily to read about and debate these controversial issues because, like it or not, they affect us all in ways we may not even realize.
You also fail to see the irony in your own posting – there’s a lot of hate against me in both your comments, yet you don’t like people with a “negative mindset.” Your negativity isn’t getting you anywhere, as I’m just laughing at your utter stupidity, but mine creates articles that people respond to and forces them to face facts that sometimes they’d rather not face. I also can’t help but see irony in a guy who has nothing better to do than hang out on some blog he supposedly hates until someone responds to his comments so he can post his “witty” retort. If that isn’t the definition of a “sad cunt” who needs to “get a life,” then I don’t know what is.
I also couldn’t help but notice the lack of links in your comments. People like you go from website to website bashing the content you read (barely read, anyway), yet you never become the change you want to see and create a website of your own. Where’s your blog that does it so much better, with that smarter, more positive outlook that opens my eyes to the world as you see it? You criticize other people who are unafraid to honestly put themselves out there while you’re too cowardly to do the same. The truth is you just don’t have the skills or the guts it takes to run a website, nor can you express yourself in words that aren’t “fuck” or “cunt,” the former of which you’ve never done and the latter of which you’ll never see in person unless you drop your own pants. Hide behind your fake e-mail and keep “hating,” Joey – it’s obviously gotten you far.
Well, for someone who evidently didn’t like the guy, you certainly have a lot to say about him. I hope all the hate you spewed has been cathartic for you and you can now finally start to grieve his loss Rich. Good luck and be strong… lmfao… get a grip and write about something else saddo.
Hello Rich,
I’ve probably been more successful in the past 3 years than you have in your lifetime. While you’ve been researching people and criticizing folk. I’ve actually sold up and am now taking a break, and having time to find sites like this.
I would like to thank-you for taking the time in writing that very long reply. Maybe you could be successful in a career in journalism? You’re too negative for entrepreneurship that’s for sure.
Regards
Paul, four paragraphs is “a lot to say” on the guy? This is the first and only article I ever wrote about the asshole, so I don’t see how this is the overreaction that you’re making it out to be. I’ve been writing for this site for about a year now and 99% of the content here is all about politicians or religious leaders, so I find it kind of sad that the article involving the least important public figure I’ve covered is getting the most attention. I’m sorry that he meant so much to you that you feel the need to defend a pedophile (which says more about you than it does about me), but I do have a consolation prize for you, Joey, and Phonte that I think will help…
I hope that this will soothe the butthurt you’re all feeling over the death of your hero. I’ve even included the wipes for that hard to reach butthurt…I’m sure Joey would be happy to help you with that.
You’re an eloquent scumbag, I’ll give you that much atleast. Other than that, you’re just attention seeking. Maybe you have your own childhood haunts too. Daddy didn’t put you on his knee enough perhaps? Mummy removed her breast too early?
I don’t overly care about the death of Jackson to be honest. He wasn’t my kin and I never met him. He never did anything to directly affect me. Certainly not enough to make me want to post an article about him. I only read your article because a friend posted a link on facebook. I didn’t go searching for Micheal Jackson tributes/criticisms. But one thing I want to say is that I’m NOT glad he’s dead. He wasn’t convicted of anything, and fortunately the majority of the civilised world believe in the judicial system and don’t castrate people until a reasonable doubt has been negated.
One sad fact of this “celebrity-obsessed” world you need to come to terms with is that regardless of his death, the media will not suddently start to report the real issue’s and problems that continue to blight us. They will only shift attention to other “celebrities” and continue to force the useless crap, that the fucking masses seem to love, down our screens/newspapers. Saying that you’re glad Mr Jackson is dead because the media will now be free to get real is just retarded.
I, personally, stopped reading newspapers and watching the news a LONG time ago. I suggest you either do the same or start reading more reputable news sources that DO care about the issues that actually matter. Unless you would rather find more hatred for others so that future articles can be written and gain you the further attention you missed out on as a young boy.
I’ve met your kind before Rich. Assess which side the majority stand and jump to the other as their are more eye’s focussed your way. Good luck with the attention seeking if that’s what really matters. People with a genuine creative flare and a passion to write can do it constructively and still enjoy it AND (and this is the important part) can still gain many followers and lots of attention. Give it a try and let me know how you get on. It may change your life.
Hello Rich
You should be thanking me for improving your hits to your Website. After all you’re just another blog on top of WordPress, Blogger or Sixapart. Not really a successful Website/Blog like Techcrunch or Huffington.
Kind regards
Ever notice that every internet critic is extremely successful at whatever it is they do (with no proof of said success other than their “better than you” attitude)? I know some very successful people in my personal life, and I’ll tell you one thing that they all have in common – they don’t have time to leave comments on blogs. They’re too busy vacationing at their beach houses or fucking hot women to waste time defending MJ and consistently returning to a comment page in hopes that they got “the last word” in. (By the way, Joey, make sure to wipe from front to back.) And internet critics always act like psychologists trying to overanalyze your life through a simple posting as if everyone has mommy and daddy issues because they said something mean about somebody in a post. All you know about me is a couple of paragraphs, so no, you haven’t “met my kind” before. If I was doing this for attention, my face would be plastered all over this site and I certainly wouldn’t have a co-webmaster to run the site with. I do this for fun, not because I have any gaps in my life that I need to fulfill. It’s a hobby, much like trolling comment boards is your preferred pastime.
Since you admitted that you only skimmed the article, you must have missed this part: “I realize that there will always be another celebrity to preoccupy us and consume precious airtime (I’m looking directly at you, Ms. Spears)…” I KNOW there’s always going to be another celebrity for the media to focus on. All I said was the time of pointless Jackson news is over, and since he was the most reported on celebrity of all time, it is the end of an era of sorts. For someone who doesn’t read newspapers or watch the news, you seem to think you know an awful lot about people and how the world works. It’s fascinating what you can convince yourself of when you spend enough time alone in front of a computer, isn’t it? If you cared to look around, we link to dozens of alternative news sources that are far better than CNN or Fox News, and I have dozens more in my Google Reader that I browse almost every day. If you’re going to pretend to know all about me and “my kind,” you might want to take five minutes to read the entire article you’re bashing and at least browse the rest of the website you’re criticizing. You say that I just need the attention, but if you really believed that, then you wouldn’t give me that attention if you were hoping to “change my life” – you’d move on with yours because you’re just so normal and well adjusted.
I’ll tell you exactly what this is without psychoanalyzing anybody – it’s people taking the internet WAY too fucking seriously. If you haven’t noticed, I’m really enjoying the responses here. I think it’s hilarious that simple combinations of words can drive people utterly insane and get reactions like this. I picture you guys furiously typing away, screaming, “But I’M right! No YOU like butt sex!” and I just laugh my ass off. There is absolutely NOTHING you can write here that would offend me – life is too short to take anonymous insults personally. I’m cool as a cucumber right now, and you know why? Because my writing did its job – it stirred in all of you a gut reaction. You all hate my writing so much, but it created an emotional response in you, and that’s what all good writing does. I’ve succeeded and you haven’t even realized it – it’s what keeps you from clicking that little X in the right-hand corner. A simple rant that took me 20 minutes to write has had you guys up in arms for days, anxiously refreshing this page over and over, waiting for the next response. Now just imagine what the stuff that takes me months to write can do. Here’s a tip, fellas – if you don’t like a website, don’t go back. The more you come back to comment and the more you link your friends and say, “Look at this asshole!” and the more traffic and discussion you generate, the more encouraged a webmaster is to keep his site going. If it seemed like I wasn’t reaching anyone and our traffic didn’t increase in size month after month, I’d have closed up shop a long time ago. Thanks for making our site a success, folks, and be sure to grab your complimentary sample cream on the way out.
The end – 18 comments, what a success!